She inspired me
“Ouch”, “Don’t move” “Sorry”, “Enough” “It’s taking too long”, “so many tangles”, “you can’t wear your hair out, it will tangle”, “we’re finally finished”, “thanks mummy”- these are a few of the words we shared my daughter and I during her hair wash days. Without realising it, I was having the same hair experience with my daughter that I had when I was a child which lead me straight to hair relaxers (chemical hair straighteners). They were the solution to easier, painless hair care.
Not long ago my daughter figured out that I was relaxing (chemically straitening) my hair. She asked why I did it. I explained that it was easier. of course she asked if she could get her hair relaxed too. It would be so much easier for the both of us. She didn’t like her hair and I was horrified! It brought me back to her age. Where I was waiting with anticipation for my first relaxer as a huge event. It was a promise of beautiful hair. At least more beautiful than what I had. It would be straight like my Caucasian friends. I could pull them back my ear. It would flow up and down in the wind while I ran. I did experience all those things at a cost of slowing killing my natural hair. A fact I didn’t know this then. I only know what my environment portrayed as beautiful hair. I didn’t want this for my daughter. I wished for her to love her hair and every part of her body as it is. Yet here we were. How could I teach my daughter to accept and love her hair while I obviously didn’t?
I had been relaxing my hair for over 20 years. I couldn’t remember my natural hair texture. I was still stuck on the notion that afro natural hair was a pain to maintain. That it took time and a lot of effort. I didn’t have the time and honestly, I didn’t want to put in the effort. Hence I continued with the relaxers but felt bitter. I couldn’t do it anymore. I had to lead by example. That was the only way I could teach my daughter. So, in October 2017, I got my last relaxer and in March 2018 I cut the relaxed ends leaving only of few centimetres of my natural hair.
When I did my Big Chop (cutting all the relaxed ends) I felt liberated. As my hair strands gracefully fell down the ground, I watched in pure bliss. Free from the shackles of relaxers, excited to start this new journey. However, I thought to myself “it’s just hair. What’s the big deal?”
It’s not just hair. It’s my perception of beauty. It’s my genes, it’s my history, it’s my culture. It’s my identity. Through rediscovering my natural hair, I continue my self-discovery path.
Today I am happy to reconnect with my natural hair. I proudly wear my kinky crown and even prouder to see my daughter proudly wear her curly crown too!
Our new story: “you’ve got gorgeous hair”,“I love my curls”, “look at these curls “, “thanks mummy”. While wash days are still long and sometimes tinted with frustration, the story is different and so is the outcome. It’s a story of a girl who is growing up embracing her curls. Understanding that beauty is what you make it to be. And most importantly that beauty comes from within. Accept, embrace within and it will show on the outside.
In honour of our natural hair journey, I’ve dedicated the Spring-Summer 2018 collection to my daughter. The Mummy and Me collection is colourful, fun and full of life. The bags can be matched or mixed to reveal all your beautiful colours.
Match and mix them with your daughter, niece, God-daughter, best friend or any special girl in your life even yourself.
I hope you enjoy this collection!
with love,
Diamany
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